I no longer. . .

I no longer think about you or how you’re doing when I’m alone at night, I no longer wish  you to be the one who consoles me when my world gets dark.

I no longer hope it’s you when my doorbell rings. I no longer live in the fantasy I’ve created, I decided to wake up.Because it seems that the more I hold on to the possibility of us, the more I lose touch with reality.

It seems that the possibility of us is not even a possibility anymore.

Because every time I think it’s possible, you make it impossible and every time I come close to holding you, you disappear.

When I thought about it, the possibility of us was very possible, it could’ve been real if you wanted it to be but you didn’t.

It only remained a possibility because only one of us wanted to make it happen, only one of us wanted to make it real but let me tell you this, when someone holds on to something for too long, letting go becomes easier, it becomes a sudden obligation because your hands are bleeding, because you can’t carry the weight by yourself anymore.

Letting go becomes something out of your hands, something you can’t control. And sometimes it’s only after you’ve let go that you realize how heavy the weight was and how liberated you are without it.

I no longer wish it was you, I no longer hope it’s your name on my phone, I no longer picture our wedding day.

I’m going to wait for someone who is more than just a possibility, someone who knows for sure, and someone who’s certain of every little thing you were hesitant about.

I’m going to wait for the one who knows how to make things possible, someone who is not content with me being just an idea for the future — someone who doesn’t make me question what our future will be.   

58 thoughts on “I no longer. . .

  1. I LOVE this! There are those you can love and then there are those you may want to love but really just weigh your life down. LIVE and Love! If they don’t lift you up, then they are dragging you down!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I wish I had seen this when I liked this guy before I found Zeke. Life’s so much better now that I had realized this and said it straight to his face. I’m happy for once, because I learned this message and found the one who knows exactly how to make things possible. Thank you for giving me this little reminder that every day with Zeke and without that idiot is a better day, a stronger day ❤


  3. Beautiful writing Ana, you certainly will find someone better. It seens kind of clichê but is true, juts don’t look for…kkkk he will find you. Love is not heavy, love is light and all you have to do is enjoy it. All this pain that you described isn’t love, I am happy that you find yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much Lucy’s . .😊
      Your beautiful lines ,sweet encouraging words mean alot to me , I don’t know what my feelings this time happiness or pain , but sure I’m understand I deserve better !

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are welcome! I found it curious how it lodged between the other two poems gushing about how wonderful she thought her guy was. A contrast, no doubt? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Somehow the theme of contrast has come into my life for now. Your charming poem brought me yet another example as it fit into the others as a counterpoint. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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