God, I’m ready for things to change

I don’t know you’re planning for me. I don’t know how the next few months will unfold but I’m counting on you to give me the strength and patience I need to get through it.

I don’t know if you will answer my prayers or if you will keep taking me on another ride I wasn’t prepared for.

I don’t know if you will give me a break or another difficult test.

I have been trying to handle everything in the best and wisest way possible. I’ve been trying to connect all the dots and understand the bigger picture and follow the signs you’ve been sending me but I admit that I’m tired.

My brain is tired. My heart is tired. My soul is tired.

I’m tired of the same patterns. I’m tired of the same lessons. I’m tired of the same rollercoaster.

I don’t know what the future holds but I’m ready for things to change. I’m ready for my life to finally start making sense. I’m ready for peace. I’m longing for stability.

I know that either way, I’ll be fine. That either way, I’ll count on you. I know that you will guide me through the hard times like you always do but I guess I’m asking for leeway this time. I’m ready for a miracle to lift all the heaviness and all the burdens.

I’m counting on you this time but in a different way. Counting on your generosity. Counting on your forgiveness. Counting on your magnificent surprises. Counting on your mercy.

I don’t know what the future holds but I want it to be brighter and better than what I had imagined.

I want all those wishes I asked you for. All those impossible dreams I once believed in. I want my life to be this marvelous story in the making.

I don’t know if that’s how you see it too or if that’s what you want for me but I’m counting on you to turn it all around. To bring my wishes closer. To push my pain away.

I don’t know what the future holds but I’m putting my trust in you and I know that you don’t disappoint those who put all their faith in you.

I will never know for sure how things will pan out but I can only hope that your timing is aligning with mine this time. That this is the time for my prayers to be answered and my angels to be released.

I don’t know what the future holds but all I know is that there’s nothing you can’t do. There’s nothing you can’t fix. That you are the only one who can turn everything around in the blink of an eyes.

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MEMORIES are also PLACE

I caught myself coming back

to the lyrics of an old song,
to the colors of old photographs,
to the pages old journals,
to the every little old thing.

and to the old us.

Because memories are also place.

They are places wrapped in a beat,
in an album, in a poetry, and in someone’s heart.

And at one point in my life,
our memories once became my favorite
place I kept coming back to. Flashback after Flashback, it all felt nostalgic.

And at the same time
I felt that beautiful pain
you left behind.

(pictures from pinterest )

Blissful journey

In this lifetime, it has been a privilege to have meet you. Even if you, were never destined to stay. I am thankful, that within our time. The universe allowed my train to stop at your platform.

it waited for you to climb on board and take a seat beside me; even if we only consisted of a short adventure. I’m thankful that this lifetime, allowed you to stop by. Even the journey was only a moment in time.

Though your journey with me, Only consisted of watching the passing world beside us.

To look on, past the windows of the train; With you. Was a blessing, that I shall treasure for eternity.

stretching

I feel like a place people go to bury the love
they don’t want anymore, to plant things they know
they don’t have the time
to tend to.
And I know that I am more
than the sum
of all the people who could not love me,
but I am always quick to forget this.
In my sorrow, every fresh goodbye sounds more like an “I told you so.”
I hear it in the sound
of my own voice.
You said “sometimes people aren’t running away
from you,
they’re running away from themselves.”
But it never feels like that.
I see your good shoes stuck in my muddy earth.
I see footprints
stretching out away from me
and nothing else.

musing on quarter night

The tempestuous current in front of us upsets me, I wish there was a way for me to pick it up, pack it in a sturdy ruck sack and toss is somewhere far away, without a single worry for its return.

But I guess that’s not possible.

I guess this is one of the many things we’ve to go through together, whether we like it or not.

There will always be paths we take and choices we make in life that will either break us or make us stronger. I hope that we know and choose the latter .

There is no one to blame.

They Say it’s always easier when there is someone or something to blame. But I can’t blame you and you can’t blame me;

So I guess we end up blaming life and the little cracks in between.

I don’t want you to feel dejected, and despondent. I guess I don’t want to suffocate, and trample you with my stagnant and protective life. I’m sorry I can’t do anything to make you feel better, though I really wish I could.

I guess love just isn’t enough to turn someone’s sunken cheek up, Love isn’t enough to hold two people together

inspite of their differences.

I guess sometimes there’s really nothing much you or anyone can say and do.

I guess time is an enemy we need to learn to use wisely and love. Time is an opportunity to believe, nurture and grow, Time can be a poison as much as it can be a medicine.

I guess hope is not for deluded and the blinded; hope is for the seekers and believers. I guess there will always be a glimpse of hope in this already wrecked life.

Because without hope, we will all lose;

We will all die a little inside.

Meteor

You were like the meteor

That Descended into the atmosphere with such an incredible force, your light so bright, it blazed the inky black sky.

Everyone stood in awe admiring the spectacle on the dark shores of the night sky.

What a magnificent sight it was .

Then, all of a sudden, it come crashing down, tearing through the unexpecting ground, among the admirers, without a tiny shred of mercy.

I never understood and I think never will.

How something so beautiful could also be so ruthless ?