God, I’m ready for things to change

I don’t know you’re planning for me. I don’t know how the next few months will unfold but I’m counting on you to give me the strength and patience I need to get through it.

I don’t know if you will answer my prayers or if you will keep taking me on another ride I wasn’t prepared for.

I don’t know if you will give me a break or another difficult test.

I have been trying to handle everything in the best and wisest way possible. I’ve been trying to connect all the dots and understand the bigger picture and follow the signs you’ve been sending me but I admit that I’m tired.

My brain is tired. My heart is tired. My soul is tired.

I’m tired of the same patterns. I’m tired of the same lessons. I’m tired of the same rollercoaster.

I don’t know what the future holds but I’m ready for things to change. I’m ready for my life to finally start making sense. I’m ready for peace. I’m longing for stability.

I know that either way, I’ll be fine. That either way, I’ll count on you. I know that you will guide me through the hard times like you always do but I guess I’m asking for leeway this time. I’m ready for a miracle to lift all the heaviness and all the burdens.

I’m counting on you this time but in a different way. Counting on your generosity. Counting on your forgiveness. Counting on your magnificent surprises. Counting on your mercy.

I don’t know what the future holds but I want it to be brighter and better than what I had imagined.

I want all those wishes I asked you for. All those impossible dreams I once believed in. I want my life to be this marvelous story in the making.

I don’t know if that’s how you see it too or if that’s what you want for me but I’m counting on you to turn it all around. To bring my wishes closer. To push my pain away.

I don’t know what the future holds but I’m putting my trust in you and I know that you don’t disappoint those who put all their faith in you.

I will never know for sure how things will pan out but I can only hope that your timing is aligning with mine this time. That this is the time for my prayers to be answered and my angels to be released.

I don’t know what the future holds but all I know is that there’s nothing you can’t do. There’s nothing you can’t fix. That you are the only one who can turn everything around in the blink of an eyes.

MEMORIES are also PLACE

I caught myself coming back

to the lyrics of an old song,
to the colors of old photographs,
to the pages old journals,
to the every little old thing.

and to the old us.

Because memories are also place.

They are places wrapped in a beat,
in an album, in a poetry, and in someone’s heart.

And at one point in my life,
our memories once became my favorite
place I kept coming back to. Flashback after Flashback, it all felt nostalgic.

And at the same time
I felt that beautiful pain
you left behind.

(pictures from pinterest )

BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO MYSELF

Dear self,

my first picture on wordpress 😉

Tomorrow you will turn 33. It will be a day filled with emotions. Some moments were up and some moments were down but majority of it were bursting with love and joy. self, what i want you to remember most today is that you were loved and you were loved so very well. ☺️

Tomorrow, on my 33th birthday, i wanted to write myself a letter; a letter full of truth and hope. As I celebrated another milestone, I faced one of the hardest lessons in life. That life comes with pain and sadness and we can’t control it. Life doesn’t always work out the way we hope and dream. But I am pretty sure the rolling stone has always have the right timing-you don’t always get what you want, but you will always get what you need.

Aima’s my princess, my life ❤

I just want to thank You God for the priceless gift of life that you have given me, for the 32years of awesome memories, for the wonderful people you have put in my life for 33 years now and for my Family, that i am truly blessed that i have you in my life. No matter what, I know all of you will always be there to guide me all throughout my journey. 😘

Tinna’s besties we held hand throughout this rollercoaster of life journey

For me, my birthday is a time when i remind myself about how much i have to be grateful for. I am still young, I feel so young. There is still so much I have to do, so much I want to accomplish! To become a better person.
I’m excited for this new chapter in my life, but i would be lying if i didn’t acknowledge my sadness. 😟

I almost feel like it’s only now i’m leaving my 20’s. But as what the famous quote says “Age doesn’t matter and age is just a number” for as long as you continue believing yourself.
Realizing my past years, I want to spend quality time with those who mean to me, enjoy precious moments, create life-long memories and have fun adventures.

Tonight when the clock strikes at 12:00MN, i’ll be toasting to an amazing 33years and embarking on the new chapter and adventures of my life.
Cheers to myself for surviving another year! May i have many more wonderful, crazy years ahead of me! Happy Birthday, Me! 🍻🍾🎈🎂

And still I want say, Au revoir to my twenties and bonjour to my thirties! ❤️🙏🎉👸

Blissful journey

In this lifetime, it has been a privilege to have meet you. Even if you, were never destined to stay. I am thankful, that within our time. The universe allowed my train to stop at your platform.

it waited for you to climb on board and take a seat beside me; even if we only consisted of a short adventure. I’m thankful that this lifetime, allowed you to stop by. Even the journey was only a moment in time.

Though your journey with me, Only consisted of watching the passing world beside us.

To look on, past the windows of the train; With you. Was a blessing, that I shall treasure for eternity.

Beautiful, my love

You’re beautiful, my love

As beautiful as the fading flower.

Just as beautiful as a ball of white snow on my warm hand.

I can feel you melting down.

I can see you slipping away through the gaps between my fingers.

I can see you disappear.

But don’t worry, my love

I’ll carry your memory in my mind,

And let your fragrance occupy my lungs in your absence.

I protected you in ways that I knew, I held you close to my heart and warmed your soul with my unconditional love.

But when you disappeared,

You left me numb.

You’re beautiful, my love

As the beautiful as the setting sun

Which taints the eyes of the sky a deep red when it disappears .

I can feel you stripping the warmth in my heart with your dark and nefarious self,

Leaving me to wither in cold.

But don’t worry, my love .

Just like the larkspurs, I’ll bloom again

And let the wounds you left bleed beautifully.

I adored you in ways that I knew, admired your charm and found the most beautiful words to glory you.

But when you disappeared,

You left me ugly.

Lost soul (Collaboration with Sid’s )

On a mystic night that was terrifyingly profound
While I sat in darkness with none around.
As the howling winds whispered with a lullaby sound
I felt your lost soul lurking in the background.

Wild thoughts in my head began to race
In my darkness I craved the bliss of your grace.
Desparately, I yearned to see your beautiful face
Anxiously! I wanted to feel the warmth of your embrace.

As my imagination escaped my life’s logical shore
I envisioned the times we shared before.
With my hopeful heart as I opened the door
I was greeted by pain, loneliness & nothing more.

Even tonight as my horrifying halluination begins to fly
Tears of blood stream down from my eye.
Bitterly I weep, madly I cry
As helplessly I see your illusion burn & die.

But neither the devil below nor the God sitting above
None can corupt the purity of our love.
My heart breathes the name of our immortal love
& my lost soul shall find you my darling dove.

Perhaps wandering beyond the boundaries of day & night
Surpassing the arguments of wrong & right.
Overcoming the feeling of agony & delight
Someday, my love, our lost souls will again unite.

another best collaboration poem with talented writer Sidarth jain

Please check out/ follow his page, he had many fascinate poems onsweetdevil69.wordpress.com