Hidden

My scars are so well hidden

that sometimes even I start to forget

that I still carry them around with me

everywhere

everyday

all the time

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Kerfuffle

Mirror , mirror on the wall , 

Depicting me as round and tall , 

But when I take a step and spin , 

I become quite short and thin .

Squiggle my profile, flatten my pride, No matter my movement it won’t subside . 

A plié  here , a dip, and a shuffle ,

Won’t save me from this circus kerfuffle.

Down I fall on the checkered floor ,       And to you,  I still implore ; 

Through lover eyes, so you perceive me?  seeing through this carnival debris ? 

For this skin that I call home , 

And these feet on which I roam , 

And these eyes so muddled by tear , 

Aren’t what should be held dear .

For a Rose, by any name , 

Would remind quiet near the same .

But, I know , I am no flower .

I grow weaker by the hours , 

Succumbing to the accordions song , 

As if it were part of me all along . 

{Artwork by Tomer Hanuka}

Yourself

Learn to lean on yourself . 

Because sometime no one is there to help.

You can be your own prisoner ,  or you can be your own warrior .

It’s a matter  of being brave ,  And starting your life today .

You can’t sit and wait for companion, Because each one has his or her own destiny .

Start walking without no one beside you ,

Because in the long run all you really got is you . 

Don’t let pride destroy us

​

Everyone keeps telling you to have pride, to hold your head up high and to do whatever you can to save your pride, but the lines are blurry because pride is subjective and pride can sometimes get in the way of wonderful opportunities.

Because it seems lately the more we hold on to our pride, the more we lose opportunities, people and chances.
It seems lately that pride is the basket we throw all our excuses in, all our fears in and all our insecurities in.
I’m not saying sell yourself short but if your pride is making you miserable maybe you should consider what it really means to have pride.

Because saying I love you first doesn’t make you any less prideful. Telling someone how you feel doesn’t make you weak. 
Admitting that you’re wrong or that you’re sorry doesn’t mean you have no pride, it means you have value and you’re honest with yourself.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you don’t have standards but it means you’re kind and you’re mature.
Forgetting someone who hurt you without seeking revenge doesn’t mean that you let people walk over you, it means you choose your own peace of mind instead of participating in someone else’s self-loathe.
And sometimes we cling to our pride too much, we let it guide us without really understanding where it’s coming from.
And sometimes our pride can push the best people away from us, it can manipulate us into thinking someone is not appreciating us while they’re doing the best they could.
The problem with pride is that it’s blind and impulsive and sometimes we think it knows us more than we know ourselves. 

But the truth is our pride is a camouflage of our insecurities, of all the things that hurt us, of all the ones that broke our hearts, of all the times we felt like we’re not good enough and of all the times we didn’t love ourselves.
Pride is one way or another our defense mechanism to avoid heartbreak.
And while we try so hard to avoid getting our hearts broken, holding on to our pride will eventually break us too.
Because people told us that we need to save our pride but they never told us how to save ourselves from it — when it becomes a monster blocking every risk, when it becomes too much for you to handle and when it becomes the one thing that’s really stopping you from living and loving.  

(illustration by unkown )

films

​

We love films because they make us feel something. 

They speak to our desires, which are never small.

They allow us to escape and to dream and to gaze into eyes that are impossibly beautiful and huge.

They fill us with longing. 

But also.

They tell us to remember; they remind us of life. 

Remember, they say, how much it hurts to have your heart broken.

Remember about death and suffering and the complexities of living. 

Remember what it is like to love someone. 

Remember how it is to be loved. 

Remember what you feel in this moment. 

Remember this. 

Remember this.  “…”