#blogging
Surrounded yet alone , Shrouded yet worn,
peeling away from contact, Repelling away from an attack,
The world’s nobody, Your own somebody,
A non-existential parody, Your own paradox timely,
Suffering away from the naked eyes, yet too Aloof to die that high.
The ultimate story of every lie, That started with a simple tie.
(pictures from pinterest )
I don’t know you’re planning for me. I don’t know how the next few months will unfold but I’m counting on you to give me the strength and patience I need to get through it.
I don’t know if you will answer my prayers or if you will keep taking me on another ride I wasn’t prepared for.
I don’t know if you will give me a break or another difficult test.
I have been trying to handle everything in the best and wisest way possible. I’ve been trying to connect all the dots and understand the bigger picture and follow the signs you’ve been sending me but I admit that I’m tired.
My brain is tired. My heart is tired. My soul is tired.
I’m tired of the same patterns. I’m tired of the same lessons. I’m tired of the same rollercoaster.
I don’t know what the future holds but I’m ready for things to change. I’m ready for my life to finally start making sense. I’m ready for peace. I’m longing for stability.
I know that either way, I’ll be fine. That either way, I’ll count on you. I know that you will guide me through the hard times like you always do but I guess I’m asking for leeway this time. I’m ready for a miracle to lift all the heaviness and all the burdens.
I’m counting on you this time but in a different way. Counting on your generosity. Counting on your forgiveness. Counting on your magnificent surprises. Counting on your mercy.
I don’t know what the future holds but I want it to be brighter and better than what I had imagined.
I want all those wishes I asked you for. All those impossible dreams I once believed in. I want my life to be this marvelous story in the making.
I don’t know if that’s how you see it too or if that’s what you want for me but I’m counting on you to turn it all around. To bring my wishes closer. To push my pain away.
I don’t know what the future holds but I’m putting my trust in you and I know that you don’t disappoint those who put all their faith in you.
I will never know for sure how things will pan out but I can only hope that your timing is aligning with mine this time. That this is the time for my prayers to be answered and my angels to be released.
I don’t know what the future holds but all I know is that there’s nothing you can’t do. There’s nothing you can’t fix. That you are the only one who can turn everything around in the blink of an eyes.
Dear self,
my first picture on wordpress 😉
Tomorrow you will turn 33. It will be a day filled with emotions. Some moments were up and some moments were down but majority of it were bursting with love and joy. self, what i want you to remember most today is that you were loved and you were loved so very well. ☺️
Tomorrow, on my 33th birthday, i wanted to write myself a letter; a letter full of truth and hope. As I celebrated another milestone, I faced one of the hardest lessons in life. That life comes with pain and sadness and we can’t control it. Life doesn’t always work out the way we hope and dream. But I am pretty sure the rolling stone has always have the right timing-you don’t always get what you want, but you will always get what you need.
Aima’s my princess, my life ❤
I just want to thank You God for the priceless gift of life that you have given me, for the 32years of awesome memories, for the wonderful people you have put in my life for 33 years now and for my Family, that i am truly blessed that i have you in my life. No matter what, I know all of you will always be there to guide me all throughout my journey. 😘
Tinna’s besties we held hand throughout this rollercoaster of life journey
For me, my birthday is a time when i remind myself about how much i have to be grateful for. I am still young, I feel so young. There is still so much I have to do, so much I want to accomplish! To become a better person.
I’m excited for this new chapter in my life, but i would be lying if i didn’t acknowledge my sadness. 😟
I almost feel like it’s only now i’m leaving my 20’s. But as what the famous quote says “Age doesn’t matter and age is just a number” for as long as you continue believing yourself.
Realizing my past years, I want to spend quality time with those who mean to me, enjoy precious moments, create life-long memories and have fun adventures.
Tonight when the clock strikes at 12:00MN, i’ll be toasting to an amazing 33years and embarking on the new chapter and adventures of my life.
Cheers to myself for surviving another year! May i have many more wonderful, crazy years ahead of me! Happy Birthday, Me! 🍻🍾🎈🎂
And still I want say, Au revoir to my twenties and bonjour to my thirties! ❤️🙏🎉👸
In this lifetime, it has been a privilege to have meet you. Even if you, were never destined to stay. I am thankful, that within our time. The universe allowed my train to stop at your platform.
it waited for you to climb on board and take a seat beside me; even if we only consisted of a short adventure. I’m thankful that this lifetime, allowed you to stop by. Even the journey was only a moment in time.
Though your journey with me, Only consisted of watching the passing world beside us.
To look on, past the windows of the train; With you. Was a blessing, that I shall treasure for eternity.
On a mystic night that was terrifyingly profound
While I sat in darkness with none around.
As the howling winds whispered with a lullaby sound
I felt your lost soul lurking in the background.
Wild thoughts in my head began to race
In my darkness I craved the bliss of your grace.
Desparately, I yearned to see your beautiful face
Anxiously! I wanted to feel the warmth of your embrace.
As my imagination escaped my life’s logical shore
I envisioned the times we shared before.
With my hopeful heart as I opened the door
I was greeted by pain, loneliness & nothing more.
Even tonight as my horrifying halluination begins to fly
Tears of blood stream down from my eye.
Bitterly I weep, madly I cry
As helplessly I see your illusion burn & die.
But neither the devil below nor the God sitting above
None can corupt the purity of our love.
My heart breathes the name of our immortal love
& my lost soul shall find you my darling dove.
Perhaps wandering beyond the boundaries of day & night
Surpassing the arguments of wrong & right.
Overcoming the feeling of agony & delight
Someday, my love, our lost souls will again unite.
another best collaboration poem with talented writer Sidarth jain
Please check out/ follow his page, he had many fascinate poems onsweetdevil69.wordpress.com
The tempestuous current in front of us upsets me, I wish there was a way for me to pick it up, pack it in a sturdy ruck sack and toss is somewhere far away, without a single worry for its return.
But I guess that’s not possible.
I guess this is one of the many things we’ve to go through together, whether we like it or not.
There will always be paths we take and choices we make in life that will either break us or make us stronger. I hope that we know and choose the latter .
There is no one to blame.
They Say it’s always easier when there is someone or something to blame. But I can’t blame you and you can’t blame me;
So I guess we end up blaming life and the little cracks in between.
I don’t want you to feel dejected, and despondent. I guess I don’t want to suffocate, and trample you with my stagnant and protective life. I’m sorry I can’t do anything to make you feel better, though I really wish I could.
I guess love just isn’t enough to turn someone’s sunken cheek up, Love isn’t enough to hold two people together
inspite of their differences.
I guess sometimes there’s really nothing much you or anyone can say and do.
I guess time is an enemy we need to learn to use wisely and love. Time is an opportunity to believe, nurture and grow, Time can be a poison as much as it can be a medicine.
I guess hope is not for deluded and the blinded; hope is for the seekers and believers. I guess there will always be a glimpse of hope in this already wrecked life.
Because without hope, we will all lose;
We will all die a little inside.
I don’t want to be
The name in your blocked list , and neither do I want to be a forgotten contact.
I don’t want to be a phase in your life, or your flavor of the month. I don’t want to be forgotten smudge of a handprint on your window pane.
I want to be
Dried lavenders you keep between the page of an old romatic classic, and I want to be the beautiful handwritten letters that you keep under your pillow, holding them close to your heart at night. I want to be the pearls from a broken necklace you’ve been treasuring for age, your wristwatch that you always wear on your left hand.
I want to be
Sweatshirt that carries your fragrance and be an old blanket that keep you warm on a cold winter night. I want to be reason behind your smiles, and I want to be your muse, be someone who you think about on your lonely night.
I want to be the girl in your story, which you will very fondly tell your children before their bedtime, under the starry night sky, a light smile playing on your lips while doing so.
(Artwork By unknow)
I wonder……
Will I ever be whole again
How could I….
When a part of me
Has been taken away by you
I wonder…..
Will my eyes ever feel the touch
Of the sun again
How could it be…..
When this rainy season
Seems won’t go away
I wish…….
For you to listen
My silence
I wish……
For you to hear
My inner voice
Calling out your name
Screaming in pain
But….
You keep walking
And never once
You turned to look me in the face
Savagely….
You ripped out my heart
And left me here
To die with your memories
By Ana *—————-*
You wonder…
You are whole with a cute Aimma’s
I lost myself in the tradition of life spam
Why you wonder when i am always in you
How can you vanish me when you know the rain will slip out me away from your pupil garden
I can listen & wish could do as well to fulfill your inner most wishes so will never scream again
I been always there for you yet you watched how i walk away
If i ripped out your heart you know that was never my wish
I never wanted you to die with My memories
By Ahtisham
Pictures by unknown
Before I knew what love was, I thought it was easy like when you love, you expect to be loved back. When you give, you expect to receive something back.
When you’re hurt love can easily comfort you. I thought love was my medicine when I was hurting deeply. I thought love was my ally when the world pounded me and bombarded me with painful wounds.
I was wrong, love was my test.
Love was my enemy, love was the measurement of how I really want to spend my life with somebody. Love was never my redemption, love was there even to the point of my execution. Love stood under my umbrella. Love held me when I was drowning in my insanity.
Love stood beside me when the heavy eyes of the world judged me. Love built a roof when problems rained on me. Love taught me to dance in the rain. And when I was able to stand up and be strong again, love fulfilled his duty and then left me.
#Thankyou
I know loneliness.
I know the smell of absence and the sound of laughter from the other side of the wall. The way you speak to yourself just to fill the lack of someone else. Anyone else. Anything else.
I know loneliness.
I sit at this coffee shop this morning watching the world. I actually like sitting at coffee shops by myself. The things you notice when you’re on your own, without anyone distracting you from the simple pleasure of noticing things. Like how the old man sitting across from me has been trying to scratch something that shouldn’t really be scratched in public – okay, that I file under things I wish I could un-notice. Like how the lady on the other side of the room just rather nervously re-touched her lipstick for what must have been the fifth time. She’s wearing what I’d consider a way too expensive piece of clothing. I scan the room and realize she’s alone, just like me, and it hits me that we’re not so different, that woman and I. I wonder what had happened that made noticing much less exciting to her, and now she’s seeking comfort in crimson lipstick and expensive dresses. I sit calmly in the corner with my coffee, cluttering my notebook with sketches and words while watching these people, before I make my way back to my hotel room to sleep and lose myself in another world, another dream, with no one beside me to draw me back to reality.
I like the way I notice things and how I wouldn’t notice them if someone kept filling my mind with familiar conversations because I seek the unfamiliar. How small, ordinary routines can turn into beautiful memories. Like the way I spend every morning writing undistracted for an hour, just like how I’ve done in the last couple of years, but how a simple habit becomes something new and exciting just because you’re in a new place with unfamiliar people to watch and observe. In a coffee shop with strange cups and a new smell of their brew, and how I can simply sit in one place for hours and just be astonished, all my senses awake and sharp, and I smile even though I don’t realize, and some young man smiles back at me probably thinking the smile is for him but it’s really just because I’m simply content with my own state of excitement. Excitement for all these seemingly familiar routines, but for me, it’s all new. And how the simple habit of writing every night until I fall asleep becomes my safety, because that’s what I know, that’s what I do. But it’s still unfamiliar as entering a new land every single night because these poems, these letters, these memories transport me to different worlds where all things are possible.
And you ask why I enjoy my loneliness? Because loneliness doesn’t have to be empty if you learn to see the possibilities it brings. I have learned to look at loneliness as not an empty space but more like a blank canvass. A blank page free for you to fill. With stories, possibilities, excitement. Or the simple stillness of watching the sun rise over the horizon in silence each new morning. No one is telling me about familiar things. The world is, after all, only our perception of it.
So I’m not afraid of loneliness. It is my friend and faithful companion. And because it is teaching me.
(Picture by unknown )
@ bittersweet diary 
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