Strapless  (Rollercoaster #2)


It felt like being in a Rollercoaster with no seatbelt 

You just hold on to dear Life hoping it end wells 

Funny things it is never does.

You end up hurt and shattered like glass.

But all these times you’re thingking, why do I deserve this?

But honey, Life is Cruel and Blind, it doesn’t pick who it’s next victim is .

So just hold on to that strapless Rollercoaster for as long as you can,

And wait till the ride is finally ends.

Loneliness 

I know loneliness.
I know the smell of absence and the sound of laughter from the other side of the wall. The way you speak to yourself just to fill the lack of someone else. Anyone else. Anything else.
I know loneliness.
I sit at this coffee shop this morning watching the world. I actually like sitting at coffee shops by myself. The things you notice when you’re on your own, without anyone distracting you from the simple pleasure of noticing things. Like how the old man sitting across from me has been trying to scratch something that shouldn’t really be scratched in public – okay, that I file under things I wish I could un-notice. Like how the lady on the other side of the room just rather nervously re-touched her lipstick for what must have been the fifth time. She’s wearing what I’d consider a way too expensive piece of clothing. I scan the room and realize she’s alone, just like me, and it hits me that we’re not so different, that woman and I. I wonder what had happened that made noticing much less exciting to her, and now she’s seeking comfort in crimson lipstick and expensive dresses. I sit calmly in the corner with my coffee, cluttering my notebook with sketches and words while watching these people, before I make my way back to my hotel room to sleep and lose myself in another world, another dream, with no one beside me to draw me back to reality. 
I like the way I notice things and how I wouldn’t notice them if someone kept filling my mind with familiar conversations because I seek the unfamiliar. How small, ordinary routines can turn into beautiful memories. Like the way I spend every morning writing undistracted for an hour, just like how I’ve done in the last couple of years, but how a simple habit becomes something new and exciting just because you’re in a new place with unfamiliar people to watch and observe. In a coffee shop with strange cups and a new smell of their brew, and how I can simply sit in one place for hours and just be astonished, all my senses awake and sharp, and I smile even though I don’t realize, and some young man smiles back at me probably thinking the smile is for him but it’s really just because I’m simply content with my own state of excitement. Excitement for all these seemingly familiar routines, but for me, it’s all new. And how the simple habit of writing every night until I fall asleep becomes my safety, because that’s what I know, that’s what I do. But it’s still unfamiliar as entering a new land every single night because these poems, these letters, these memories transport me to different worlds where all things are possible.
And you ask why I enjoy my loneliness? Because loneliness doesn’t have to be empty if you learn to see the possibilities it brings. I have learned to look at loneliness as not an empty space but more like a blank canvass. A blank page free for you to fill. With stories, possibilities, excitement. Or the simple stillness of watching the sun rise over the horizon in silence each new morning. No one is telling me about familiar things. The world is, after all, only our perception of it.
So I’m not afraid of loneliness. It is my friend and faithful companion. And because it is teaching me. 
(Picture by unknown )

You and me


There are just edges that never fit,

It’ll only turn out as a tragedy.

When colors mix in the saddest way,

It produces an image of you and me.

When dead trees sprout in the middle of The freshest meadows;

And flowers wilt in the beginning of spring

And when fireflies loses their glow,

It reminds us of our things.

When clouds cry and never stop,

And stars fall in the form of shards,

When towers tumble from the tops,

It reminds me of our heart.

When lightening inhabits  every cloud,

And When words and laughter seem so foreign to us,

When we see to each other but no sound,

It’s reminds me how we faded to dust.

So every time,

When someone say the word of “TRAGEDY”

My mind can’t help but come back to the time, 

TO YOU AND ME.

Our kingdom’s 

Welcome to our marvelous kingdom 

Here resides the most charming crowd;

Envy is insecurity’s dies-hard fan,

Jealousy-the backstabbing friend of bitter man.

Anger’s mighty sharp bleed’s defend these ground;

Lies and deceit, our finest hand makers of crowns.

Then there’s greed,

The lad that blinds many a night owl in town .

By all means, make friends and have fun.

Here in our marvelous kingdom’s,

We never run out of clowns.

Ending of 

​Love was like a parachute fall. We were both on the same plane, flying over paradise. Secured at the door and waiting for a sign. But the sign never came, so I jumped anyway, hoping you would follow. 
Love was like a parachute fall, but you left me fly alone. Now I have landed in paradise, wishing you were here, and you’re long gone, piloted by your own fear. Don’t come to look for me again, there’ll never be the same place, time or even plane. 

Your Ghost everywhere

In all honesty you never left, not really.
You’re here, you’re here, you’re here. You’re always here; tucked right between these letters, caressing my fingers as they tap on this screen to complete yet another piece about you. You never left me. And I want you to leave so badly, because I cannot keep you anymore. All I have with me, all you are to me now, is a ghost; Someone long gone I shouldn’t be keeping around as company.
I used to beg for your time, when all you wanted was space. Then you started complaining about distance, so I begged for a chance to explain. I used to beg for everything I shouldn’t have had to. You made me beg because all I used to want was your presence, your choice to stay. But now, all I really want is to get rid of your specter, send all your memories away. And if I could beg you to leave, I would. But what use is pleading when it has never worked anyway?
You’re here, you’re here, you’re here. You’re always here. I’m not going to ask you for anything, but I just really need peace. I’m getting sick of this joke you’re playing with me. Maybe this was the choice you’ve made all along– to stay. To haunt me forever as my favorite mistake.

Artwork By Dante Orpilla 

Squall


“What if my dream home is not a mansion,

but someone waiting for me,

someone to dine and chat with

and someone to rub my back after a long day’s work?
What if, at the end of the day, my comfort is

not to arrive home to trophies and fancy things

but to see the person I love on the front door, smiling?
What if I don’t desire the things you want for me

and don’t grow to be someone you expect me to be?

What if, what I really want is just to be me —

to be free to choose who to love, 

be loved,

and be happy?”
(Artwork -unknown )