Growing up I was taught that I shouldn’t settle for anything less than I deserve. This included various areas of my life, but most importantly it included the relationships I would inevitably be in throughout my lifetime. My mom wanted to make sure that the man I’d end up with treated me the way I deserved to be treated.
Now, even with her having drilled in my head that I deserve the absolute best, I do not have high standards. I have practical standards that every woman should have. But, I think what’s most important is that I won’t settle for less than those standards.
I won’t let a man lie to me and get away with it. I won’t stand for a man manipulating me or blaming me for something that was clearly his fault. I won’t stick around if I’m cheated on.
I will never let a man talk down to me or treat me any less than his partner. I won’t let a man call me names or yell at me. If a man was to ever lay a hand on me, he’d land himself in jail.
I need to have someone that can at least hold their own in a conversation. I’m not a “sugar mama”; you don’t have to have a good job but you have to be supporting yourself. You have to be on the same level in life as I am.
And, arguably most important, you have to believe in God.
I’ve been told a few times that I have “high standards”, but if these are high standards than I really shouldn’t be in a relationship. 90 percent of my “standards” are in place to make sure I don’t end up with a douche bag. My standards are put there to protect me.
They make sure that I’m treated with respect. They make sure I end up with someone on the same path as myself. It’s not demanding or being stuck up.
It’s what I need in a relationship for it to be successful and for me to be happy. Can’t do it? No one is asking you to. I won’t settle for less.
Not because I’m stuck up, but because I know what I’m worth and I don’t plan on being miserable for the rest of my life. If you can’t see your worth, a man won’t either. If you don’t hold out for a man that is willing to meet your standards, you’ll end up with one that doesn’t care.
I’m not waiting for a “happily ever after” with a prince from a Disney movie. I’m waiting for a “we’re happy together” life with a man that will respect me. I’m waiting for what I know I’m worth.
I know I’m worth a man that loves me unconditionally. I know I’m worth a man that respects me and values my opinion. I know I’m worth a man that would protect me.
If I settle for less than that, I’m cheating myself. I’m cheating my future children that will watch my relationship. I’m cheating the man that I’ll end up despising. I’m cheating the man I’m meant to be with.
So no, I do not have high standards. I have the standards that every woman should have. You only think they’re high, because you can’t meet them and I won’t settle for less.